Dear daughters

So at the present time we are living through an event that will create history. The covid-19 (Coronavirus) pandemic is occurring throughout the world and we have all been asked to isolate. The country is closed, people cannot fly in or out. Groups of people cannot gather together. Most businesses are shut and school is cancelled.

I’m trying to get my head around the magnitude of this situation. My mind has me questioning every explanation and reason they are giving us for the drastic measures our leaders are taking. Especially when my business I have worked so hard to build has been so easily put in suspended closure until further notice.

My gut instinct is that what shall come from out of this is bigger than we realise. Right now the human race is being made to pause. To stay at home with just family and to focus purely on just existing.

I will write again as things come to light during this weird moment in history.

Love, mum xx

Dear daughters,

Instinct is key!

Every time I find myself in a situation I get a gut feeling about it, also known as instinct. Each time I have ignored that gut feeling, I have regretted it and saw in hindsight that my instinct was right.

Please go through life following your instinct. Quiet your mind and listen to that feeling in your gut.

You won’t regret it x

Love,

Mum x

Dear daughters

I was told the other day that when life gets hard, I am to remember I have a 100% success rate in getting through bad days and hard times.

I’m still here and I’m still going, which means that when I am down on myself for other perceived failures, I can rest assured that I still succeed with every day I get through.

Please take this on board and remember it often x

I love you with all my heart,

Mummy

Xx

Dear daughters,

A few years back I was told by someone I admire that in order to keep themselves moving forward they do one thing every day that scares them. It could be something little or something massive. I chose to adopt this.

For the following years I have consciously chosen to challenge myself. Some examples of this:

– waterskiing in the SeaWorld stunt show

– calling a potential client to discuss how I can help them – I am always scared of saying the wrong thing or being rejected

– managing a wedding day

– making decisions on behalf of you girls whether big or small

– actually, being a mum in general is scary as i am always guessing as to whether what I’m doing is right for you kids

– facing my inner demons

Doing something scary and getting through it successfully shows you your strength and resilience, builds self-esteem and gives you a sense of accomplishment.

So go ahead my beautiful daughters, jump head first in to something scary. If you fall I will catch you x

All my love

Mum

Dear daughters,

These words “you are perfect not being perfect” were once said to me by your step-dad and they have resonated with me ever since.

I grew up believing that the only way to be loved is to be perfect, to never make a mistake, to always look good, sound good, do good and be good.

So when I ever messed up, not only did I feel bad about it but my whole self worth went down the drain too. I believed that my actions and what I could do to please people determined my worth.

This is absolutely not true!! You are human. You are going to make bad choices, do horrible things, stumble your way through life and fall many times. But each of these are simply actions, they do not determine who you are.

Don’t change who you are for anyone. There is a reason you have the personality traits you have. Embrace yourself, flaws and all.

I love you,

Mummy

Dear daughters,

In every single moment each human is doing the best they can with the resources they have.

Some days you will reach new heights and kick goals and other days getting out of bed and putting on clothes will be all you are capable of and that’s ok. Be gentle and kind with yourself.

… and remember to do the same with others too x

I love you,

Mum

Dear daughters,

One valuable piece of advice I have received in my life is…

Be kind to everyone as you don’t know the battle they are fighting.

Everyone in this world is fighting some kind of battle that you know nothing about.

All my love,

Mum x

Dear daughters,

Sorry I have not written in a while, I have been in a fog and I lost sight.

There are going to be times in your lives where you feel like your life is spiralling downwards. A time where you feel you are in a fog and you aren’t sure how to get out of it. This is where I find myself at the moment.

This post is to reassure you that these times will not last forever (or maybe I am writing it to reassure myself also). During these times I suggest you simplify your life and just take one day at a time. In these moments give yourself permission to do the essentials only and to take the time for extra self care. Be gentle with yourself.

Life is a fluent experience and nothing remains the same forever, it constantly changes. Hold on during these rough times and look forward to the future times coming as they will bring you relief.

I also want you to remember that you do not owe anyone in your life an explanation. They are not living your life, you are.

Hopefully in these tough times I will be right beside you to help guide you through the fog x

All my love,

Mummy xo

Dear daughters,

I know that right now as I stumble through being your mum you don’t see anything but how I am letting you down. My prayer is that when you are older you can look back on your childhood and see that in every moment I tried. I did the best with what I had in that moment.

I’m sorry if I worked too much. I’m sorry for all the moments I was too preoccupied with the million things running through my head that I didn’t hear what you were saying to me. I’m sorry for saying I would and then not doing it. I’m sorry for being so tired at times that I cried or yelled. I’m sorry for not being the perfect mum that you both deserved.

In every moment though I was loving you with my whole heart.

All my love,

Mum

Dear daughters,

In life you are going to fall. I wish I could prevent this more than anything but it is out of my control. So I will instead, teach you to be your own hero. It is something I have only recently learned.

Years ago a friend of mine sent me an inspirational quote that said “a bird doesn’t fear the branch under him breaking as he has faith in the strength of his own wings”. I did not understand… until now.

As I grew up I expected my mum to catch me if I fell. I expected her to save me whenever I needed it. Then she died and my world under me crumbled. I expected my dad to save me, he never did. So I looked for a boy to come along and save me, he never did. So I looked to friends to come save me, they never did.

Then over the years I went through break ups, depression, anxiety, abusive relationships, toxic friendships, failed marriages, flailing careers. And each time I looked for that hero to come along and save me. I look for someone externally to make my world better again. But I never found that person.

The problem was that any time I did expect external heroes, they were like the branch in the quote. They may have held me for a little while but sooner or later, they broke.

Recently I stopped looking externally. I looked internally at me. I reflected on my life and all the hard times and even though through each of these I was consciously looking for another as my hero… subconsciously my soul was being my hero and tirelessly working to save me.

Each time my world has crumbled under me, I have saved myself!

This must be true as no one else saved me and I am still standing and living an improved life. I recovered each and every time.

And you know what this realisation has given me? Power! Power to know that 100% of the time when life crumbles or a branch breaks, I will be there to save myself. I am my own most reliable hero.

This is empowering and a lesson I hope you learn from me early on in life.

Rely on your own wings my beautiful girls! And forever you can fly x

All my love,

Mum xx